Finding you therapy
Offering emotional support and guidance for those who are facing overwhelming situations. I also specialise in the following areas:
Supporting men through separation/divorce or an affair
Helping men to understand their own feelings
Working with loss of identity and purpose
Breaking free of people pleasing behaviours/attitudes
Relationships and how to navigate them
Hi, I am David.
Are you a man who’s world been turned upside down due to an affair, separation or divorce? you may feel alone and confused. You’ve tried to ‘get on with it’ or distract yourself with work etc, but that lost and empty feeling resurfaces and inside your breaking.
This is an overwhelming and terrifying situation that many men sadly have to face. You may feel shame or embarrassment about talking to someone about the real pain your feeling inside and don’t know how to speak about it.
Tragically many men don’t want to burden their families or friends with their internal suffering, and sadly doing so in silence, hoping in vain that the problem will go away. Well, I write these words as a man, dad and husband who has not only experienced this, but survived and even grown as a person through my own counselling.
So, I’m pleased to offer the emotional as well as the practical support, to guide you through this process of healing. To then gradually understand what factors were at play in your relationships. Then more importantly what you can learn about yourself moving forwards.
I offer a free 15 minute session for you to ask any questions you may have, explore briefly what challenges you are facing and to see if counselling is something that would meet your needs. Click the link below to contact me to book an introduction call or for further information on how I can support you.
My service offers emotional support and guidance to those who are facing very challenging times. However, I particularly work with:
Supporting mens emotional confusion and uncertainty
Loss of purpose
Loss of identity
People pleasing behaviours/attitudes
Relationship issues and dynamics
I work with men who want to feel and understand their own emotions and feelings. I also offer support to wives/partners/mothers and daughters in helping them to understand their male figures more.
I believe that becoming authentically who we truly are is possibly the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves. I want to help you to discover that gift.
If you would like further details on how I can support you in these areas, click on the link below.
Face to face sessions
Video sessions (Teams)
Telephone sessions
50 minute sessions are £45
1 hour 30 minute sessions are £70
I ask for all fees to be paid 24 hours in advance of the session. This can be done through bank transfer (I will provide bank details prior to the session within my counselling contract)
The Cost of People-Pleasing
How often are you resentful, either in a situation or with a certain person/people?
How is people pleasing serving you?
What is the cost to yourself of your people pleasing?
Who really sees the authentic you?
I appreciate these may be challenging questions, but It’s so easy to slip into the old and familiar patterns of pleasing those around us. At first, it may bring us a brief sense of peace or acceptance. But over time, the price of this behaviour becomes clear. Because each “yes” that we say is in conflict with our inner truth, which creates frustration, emptiness, anger, confusion, and loneliness.
I have personally been in this place and it left me feeling like a stranger to myself. Until I decided that I couldn’t’ treat myself like this anymore and got the support I needed.
So I would love the opportunity to work with you and offer you the support you deserve and require to break through the silent and damaging pattern of people pleasing and all the hurt that comes with it.
Relationships
Why are relationships important?
Why am I not understood in relationships?
What can I get from healthy relationships?
How do I build relationships that will encourage and grow me as a person?
How well do I recognise my emotional signals?
When we think about relationships, Its critical that we firstly understand ourselves and what are we needing and feeling in each relationship. Without this self-awareness, we are essentially flying blind, unable to effectively navigate our own emotions and needs, let alone those of your partner.
Becoming secure in yourself prevents you from relying on your partner for happiness, fostering a healthier, more independent relationship. Once you begin to understanding your own feelings, you are more likely to see and empathise with your partner/parent/friends perspective to gradually deepen your connection.
Metaphors of movement
The use of metaphors of movement in therapy is an approach which I facilitate to explore how images, metaphors and phrases can indicate and reveal an individual's internal state and "stuck" patterns of thinking to then facilitate change.
Please let me know if this approach is something that you would like to explore further, or possibly try in the sessions.
The Power of Emotional Awareness
Do you recognise your emotions and feelings? all of them?
Do you trust your feelings?
Do you act on your feelings?
What are your feelings telling you?
What is it that ‘I’ actually want?
Why do I feel like my life is meaningless?
How can I find purpose in my life?
Feelings are not just passing states in our mind, they are quiet signs that are pointing us towards what we truly need. Allowing ourselves to acknowledge frustration, sadness, anger or even the expression of joy. This is certainly not weakness, in fact it is a quiet and valuable strength that we can develop. Emotions and feelings need to be understood and honoured for what they are trying to communicate. They are the connection between our body and minds.
When we learn to work with our feelings, we start to decode the messages they carry. Beneath the frustration might be a need for rest or respect. Below the sadness could be a longing for connection or understanding. When we become curious about our feelings, rather than judging them, we rediscover parts of ourselves we thought were lost.
Understanding and supporting men
How many men do you have in your world?
How often have you been let down or even abused by men?
How well do you really know the men around you?
How can you bring the best out in men?
Do you even trust men?
These questions can be very challenging to answer, but also very personal depending on your own experience. I speak as a man, who has male friends, family members as well as male clients I see in my counselling room. So I only have my unique perspective.
A man can be brave, loyal, honest, emotional, loving and dependable. However, men can also be destructive, selfish, distant, deceitful, mistrusting and violent.
So which of these resonate with you the most?
A man can be many things, both damaging and loving. But I believe the value of him being understood can begin the process of him understanding many things about himself including:
What were the messages he received
What emotional space did he have access to when growing up?
How was he taught how to manage conflict?
What does it look like to be a man?
How do men express themselves in a healthy way?
Imagine going through life on autopilot, saying "yes" when you mean to say "no", or find yourselves in situations or conversations nodding in agreement but internally you are quietly saying ‘I don’t agree with this’.
We can give our precious energy to anyone who asks for it, and sadly we may not even realise it’s happening. In the process, we become skilled at people-pleasing, bending and reshaping ourselves for the comfort and happiness of others, while our own needs remain silent, unspoken guests in the background. We become invisible and lose ourselves in the process * almost like a puppet.
But as the years pass, there comes a moment, a gentle but insistent call from inside that tells us to wake up, to become real and authentic with who we truly are. We begin to question the following:
What am I getting from my relationships?
What relationships do I desire?
What are my emotions trying to tell me?
My counselling services are based in the north west of England in Sandymoor, Cheshire. I offer Face to face sessions as well as video and telephone sessions.
I have a number of years experience in working with clients who present anxiety, identity issues, low self worth, shame, depression, relationship issues and also bereavement and loss. The approaches I use are Person-centred therapy, Cognitive behavioural therapy, Solution focused therapy and Psychodynamic therapy. In addition to these approaches I also offer ‘metaphors of movement’ which uses imagery and association to bring an awareness to your situation, and to help explore an alternative perspective on your current thinking.
I currently offer my counselling services for several EAP services (including Health Assured and OneBright mental health services). Alongside this I have a flourishing private counselling practice where I offer a compassionate approach towards discovering in particular finding your authentic self, people pleasing behaviours and understanding feelings.
In my earlier years I provided therapy at the Delamere centre at Halton hospital for 2 years, offering support to clients who have been diagnosed with cancer or family members who need support through the challenges of a loved ones diagnosis. I have also volunteered at a local community services in widnes where clients presented issues such as anger, addiction and bereavement. My other volunteer work was spent at the samaritans branch in warrington as a listening volunteer for 3 years.
Being real and authentic with another person can be extremely daunting. However, gradually sharing your true feelings with a trusted person can be the beginnings of finding out who you truly are. This can be a difficult journey of self discovery but one of the most valuable and beautiful things you will ever do for yourself.
Qualifications:
Bsc (1st class Honours) degree in relationships and grief therapy
FdSc Foundation degree in integrative counselling
Level 3 Diploma in Counselling
Level 2 Diploma in Counselling Skills
Online & Telephone Counselling certificate
Metaphors of movement (level 1 & 2)
Pesso Boyden training