Finding you therapy

Working through a separation/divorce

Has your world been turned upside down due to an affair, separation or divorce? you may feel alone and confused. You’ve tried to ‘get on with it’ or distract yourself with work etc, but that lost, empty and hopeless feeling resurfaces and inside your breaking apart.

This is an overwhelming and terrifying situation that many have to face. You may feel shame or embarrassment about talking to someone about the real pain your feeling inside and don’t know how to speak about it.

There may be children to consider in the impact of this situation, and managing that can be extremely emotional and uncertain. At these times a supportive and safe person to guide you through your pain and decisions is like a lifeline.

Tragically most don’t want to burden their families or friends with their internal suffering, and sadly doing so in silence, hoping in vain that the problem will go away. Well, I write these words as a man, dad and husband who has not only experienced this, but survived and even grown as a person through my own counselling process. 

So, I’m pleased to offer you the emotional and practical support, to guide you through this process of healing. To gradually understand what factors were at play in your relationships. Then more importantly what you can learn about yourself moving forwards. 

Understanding men and their emotions

• What were the messages you received as a man?

• What emotional space did you have access to when growing up?

• How was you taught to manage conflict?

• What does a real man look like?

• How do men express themselves in a healthy way?

These questions can be very challenging to answer, but also very personal depending on your own experience. I speak as a man, who has male friends, family members as well as male clients I see in my counselling room. So I only have my unique perspective.

A man can be brave, loyal, honest, emotional, loving and dependable. However, men can also be destructive, selfish, distant, deceitful, mistrusting and violent.

It saddens me to see what men can become without a genuine understanding of themselves. Not knowing how to express themselves in a healthy way. I want to evoke the real man hiding inside. I want to help ‘you’ find that joyful, energetic, passionate and courageous man that is inside you.

I am pleased to offer the support, insights and guidance to bring that change and purpose to men.

The Cost of People-Pleasing

• How often are you resentful, either in a situation or with a certain person/people?

• How is people pleasing serving you?

• What is the cost to yourself of your people pleasing?

• Who really sees the authentic you?

I appreciate these may be challenging questions, but It’s so easy to slip into the old and familiar patterns of pleasing those around us. At first, it may bring us a brief sense of peace or acceptance. But over time, the price of this behaviour becomes clear. Because each “yes” that we say is in conflict with our inner truth, which creates frustration, emptiness, anger, confusion, and loneliness. 

I have personally been in this place and it left me feeling like a stranger to myself. Until I decided that I couldn’t’ treat myself like this anymore and got the support I needed. 

So I would love the opportunity to work with you and offer you the support you deserve and require to break through the silent and damaging pattern of people pleasing and all the hurt that comes with it.